Find Hope Here

My guess is that if you found this blog, you have done things to hurt yourself. Maybe you cut or burn yourself, but there are lots of different ways people hurt themselves. Many people don’t understand why someone would hurt her own body like that. It confuses and scares them.

Maybe you are confused and scared, too. Chances are that you are hurting very much on the inside. Chances are that you have been hurt and you don’t know how to communicate that pain you feel on the inside. Because of the shame you feel for what you do to yourself, it’s probably hard to ask for help. For that, I am sorry and I feel your pain.

If you found this blog, I might also guess that you hope for your pain to end. You long to be released from this cycle of hurting yourself, feeling shame, and hurting yourself again. The cycle never frees you from the pain on the inside, which is what you really want – to be free. You hope to pursue the dreams I know you have (even if they have been buried deep down inside) and to live a healthy and meaningful life. It may feel like everything inside of you and maybe people in your life are convinced that a free, meaningful, and purposeful life like that, for you, just isn’t possible.

I want you to hold onto hope. I know that people who self harm are not crazy. I know that you are not a monster or freak. You are not stupid – chances are you are bright, resourceful, kind and creative. You are not a lost cause or hopeless case.

I know this because I used to think all those things about myself but I don’t, in my heart, believe any of it anymore. I found freedom. I live a meaningful, purposeful, often challenging and often rewarding life today. Recovery is possible. Recovery is real. I am living in recovery from self harm and I believe that you can, too.

If you are here looking for hope, inspiration and wisdom to overcome self harm, this is the place for you. It has always been my personal policy to not give advice. I will not tell you what to do, who to be or what to think. You are uniquely you in your experiences, thoughts and feelings. It’s not my place to tell you what to do so this blog is not an advice column.

What I can do is share my personal experience. Through personal stories, I can share what I have learned and what has helped me. I can share my experiences with different situations and applying different skills. I can share my personal beliefs, how I discovered those beliefs and how they help me to live a recovered life today.

So here are some stories of my scars, stories of overcoming self harm. My purpose is to share hope, strength, wisdom and encouragement with you so that you can overcome self harm, too. Your pain can end. There is hope. Let me show you the way.

6 thoughts on “Find Hope Here

  1. just found your site.Havent cut in a long time. :last two months have been extremely difficult. I cut today ,surprised how deep it was..I don’t want to tell my therapist, feel ashamed, and stupid.
    I’m struggling with emotional issues…cant deal with them, just want to stop hurting.


    1. So glad you found the site and so very sorry you are hurting. There is hope. You can find relief from your pain day by day. The fact that you didn’t hurt yourself for two months is a great accomplishment and shows your resilience and strength! I understand you feel shame for this lapse. I encourage you not to judge what you did but notice that you’re struggling and need some support. I think a great and brave first move to stop hurting is honesty with your therapist about hurting yourself. And wait for my next blog post – I hope to have another post out by this weekend! Keep working at it – day by day, moment by moment. You can do it!


  2. What is the best treatment you can recommend for self harm? Like a center? Type of therapy? A book? Something. I need help. Thanks.


    1. I’m so encouraged by your desire to get help! If you are in a crisis situation, hurt or in danger at any point, please call 911 or go to the closest emergency room. My suggestion is to first find an outpatient therapist who works with self harm. My personal experience is that DBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is most effective in managing my self harm. I also see how effective DBT is for the patients who self harm that I work with at a treatment center. There are DBT programs and therapists who specialize in DBT. There are also resources like books and “trigger-free” blogs, and referrals to therapists and support groups connected to SAFE Alternatives at at and the Self Injury Foundation at I hope this gives you some places to look for and get connected with support. I wish you the best in your recovery journey!


  3. I took your advice and talked to my therapist about my self harming. I told her I had difficulty with my emotions and wanted to stop feeling the painful symptoms, I just couldnt deal ….she said I was being a bully towards myself what?
    I think she was referring to bullying my inner child self… but still?


    1. I’m glad you talked to your therapist. Since I don’t know you, your story or your treatment, I encourage you to ask her what she meant by that comment, how it made you feel and explore that further with her. It’s all a part of the process. Keep working your recovery – it’s hard work and it’s worth it! I wish you well!

      Liked by 1 person

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